Husbands, Reject Miss Bliss

6 Apr

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Some days it seems like temptation walks right up to you doesn’t it? I will never forget Ms. Bliss (and yes that is her real name). Ms. Bliss had been flirting with me for a while, but I thought she was just friendly. I quickly realized she was a bit too friendly the day Ms. Bliss offered to take me to lunch and have her for dessert, using just those words.

I laughed uncomfortably, and said I already had lunch plans. She bent forward a bit too far, kissed me on the nose, and smiled seductively.

“I am always free for dessert.”

It was the always free part that tripped me up. Ms. Bliss was very attractive. I could always grab some lunch later, when it was more convenient. Nobody would ever find out, I reasoned to myself. I realized I was in deep trouble if I didn’t change the rules of the game soon.

My experience with Ms. Bliss underscores one fact—we don’t even have to try in today’s world to be sexually active. Whether married or single. Whether interested or not. I am living proof. I’m no male model, just an average dude. Still, I was handed free sex on a silver platter.

I am happy to say I never took Ms. Bliss up on her offer for free dessert. But it wasn’t easy. We are all going to face this challenge, probably more than once. So, how do we stay faithful to our wives? Here’s what worked for me:

I made a decision long before Ms. Bliss offered me dessert. Like I said before, Ms. Bliss was cute. I was attracted to her, and did consider an extended lunch for a period of time. I am so glad I made a choice on my wedding day to to stay faithful to my wife. And not just sexuality but in my thought life too. So my “No” was decided in my mind long before the moment came. It’s a good thing too, because my mind wasn’t the only part of me thinking this afternoon

I didn’t hide anything. Right after Ms. Bliss sashayed away, I called my wife. I walked her through every detail of the proposition. Even that I thought my open-ended dessert was provocative. This was a tough conversation. My wife was glad I told her about Ms. Bliss, but hurt I entertained the idea. I told my wife I loved her too much to hurt her by sleeping around. I told her she was lovely and sexy. I don’t know if she believed me, because I had just told her I thought about getting my my dessert from someone else. She believes me now though, some 12 years later.

I endured the awkwardness. Ms. Bliss didn’t stop working at my office after I rejected her proposition. I felt uncomfortable every time I worked with her, especially when she moved closer than necessary. Once she even whispered something in my ear. I just let the discomfort hang in the air without responding. My wife was worth it.

Husbands, what would you add to this list to stay sexually faithful?

-Chris Morris

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Chris Morris is a CPA by day, but a creative at heart. He loves telling stories to inspire and encourage. He also loves a great cup of coffee, preferably French press. He writes at http://www.chrismorriswrites.com. You can follow him on Twitter at https://twitter.com/cmorriswrites. You can find him on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/ChrisMorrisWriter.

Photo by BSA (MorgueFile)

16 Responses to “Husbands, Reject Miss Bliss”

  1. Dave Scott April 6, 2013 at 16:33 #

    Men: it’s ok for us to step up and have the “difficult conversation.” That difficult conversation being, “Ms. Bliss, I’m not comfortable entertaining the idea of going to lunch, coffee or dessert with you. Thank you for the offer, but please do not ask me again.” That’s a very tough thing to say to someone, but it needs to be said. Also, to be wise in the work place, Chris, I would go immediately to your superior and boss and let them know what was said and how you responded. I’m sure you’ve prayed and talked with your wife, but it needs to be said. You did a great work in talking with you wife. Proud of you, keep up the open dialogue with her.

    • chrismorriswrites April 6, 2013 at 16:57 #

      Dave,
      I definitely did tell Miss Bliss multiple times that I was not comfortable with her offers. It was also addressed with my supervisor. At the end of the day, we were just moved to separate functions until her contract was up.

      The truth is that my wife and I did talk multiple times about this. We have very open dialogue about this, as it does come up every once in a while. Neither of us are ever the initiators, and we are both very open about how happily married we are; nevertheless, things happen.

  2. James Prescott April 6, 2013 at 16:54 #

    Great post. I’m not married, but I want to be faithful. I’m not interested in sleeping around, either before or after marriage – and temptation is sure to be around. Thanks for this post.

    • chrismorriswrites April 6, 2013 at 17:00 #

      My wife and I were married in our early twenties, right after graduated from Bible college. I don’t feel like I have the ‘right’ to speak to practical strategies for purity as a single man, since I have barely ever been one. Seems like a minefield nowadays

  3. Jeremy Riley (@jeremydriley) April 6, 2013 at 17:40 #

    Thanks for the honest post, Chris. I once read an interview with former NBA player David Robinson about how he stayed faithful on the road. He said sometimes he was downright rude to some who were coming onto him. He’d rather hurt these girls on the road than hurt his wife/family. That idea has stuck with me, but I imagine it would be tough in the moment. I commend you for your honesty and recommendation to diffuse the situation ahead of time!

    • chrismorriswrites April 6, 2013 at 18:40 #

      Wow, firstly I am jealous you interviewed David Robinson. He was one of my favorites, because of his faith and his great playing (not necessarily in that order). It wasn’t easy, mostly because it was SO unexpected

  4. Shelley April 6, 2013 at 19:16 #

    It is difficult to determine, anymore ,whether a person is just being friendly or flirtatious. It may be that we (who are not interested) take people at face value rather than attempt to decipher any ulterior motive or undertone. My husband used to tell me how uncomfortable some women made him feel. Overtime, they got the message that he was “true blue” to a fault. Your wife is a fortunate woman to have a husband like yourself. I’m sure she must be a gem, too.

    • chrismorriswrites April 6, 2013 at 20:13 #

      I always feel like I married above my class. She is so sweet, so tender, so loving. Oh, and gorgeous. Feel blessed to live my life with her

  5. Dave Scott April 6, 2013 at 19:31 #

    Hi Chris-great post and thx for the reply. Glad you had that talk with Ms. Bliss and your supervisor. I’m sure it wasn’t easy. Keep stepping up and being vulnerable and transparent with your wife. Your wife will appreciate the open dialogue and vulnerability. She’s blessed to have a husband who steps up like you did.

    • chrismorriswrites April 6, 2013 at 20:17 #

      Thanks Dave. Yeah, it was definitely awkward. For me, the equation looks like this: Which is more important, an awkward conversation with some lady, or a broken marriage?

  6. For the Love of God April 6, 2013 at 22:39 #

    Chris, thank you so much for your transparent and honest post. You asked what other men could add to this list?

    While theres much practical things to be said, I am reminded of something I heard recently as a youth leader at a conference for middle and high school youth. The speaker, Mark Matlock, said “Guys, youll never know her inner beauty.”

    That has stuck with me. I once did yes to Ms. Bliss unfortunatley, numerous Ms. Bliss’s in a short amount of time. It was only by the grace of God working in my wifes heart that we stayed married and now nearly 14 years later we are still together. “1 Corinthians 10:13” comes to mind. Temptation will come, its just a matter of what we do with it.

    • chrismorriswrites April 6, 2013 at 23:33 #

      Brandon,
      Could you explain the inner beauty statement? I’m not quite following.

      Your marriage is a testimony of God’s goodness. What a story — thanks for sharing

  7. Anastacia Maness April 7, 2013 at 13:26 #

    This is a very good post, Chris. It’s a topic that is hard to discuss but needs to be. I am very grateful that my husband tells me whenever he is faced with a temptation. Even if he just sees something he shouldn’t have he tells me. We wives should not get angry at our husbands for telling us their struggles. Since my husband tells me these things, I am better able to help him.

    You got me fired up on this subject of temptation. I may just have to write a post for women.

    I’m glad you and your wife have good communication. Now go buy her some flowers. 🙂

    • chrismorriswrites April 7, 2013 at 15:17 #

      The key you hit on here is transparency, radical transparency. This is a key to the strong marriage my wife and I have. We have literally no secrets from each other. Only in this place of nakedness can we grow in trust and intimacy

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. More than a Beard | Chris Morris Writes - April 6, 2013

    […] To hear the rest of this story (I know my wife did when I started talking about it!), you can find it here. […]

  2. A Big Milestone! | More Than A Beard - June 19, 2013

    […] “Husbands, Reject Miss Bliss” By Chris Morris […]

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