I’m New Here… And I Think I’m Lost

12 Apr

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I am new here, and I think I am lost.

By here, I mean Christianity. And by lost I mean, I don’t really know what I am doing. And I feel really bad about it. I know that my God is an awesome God who sent his one and only son to die on the cross for me so that I would be forgiven of all my sins, but am I really proving my worth to God?

I will be honest with you. I don’t read the bible enough. I have never read through it cover to cover. I have never done a bible study outside of church service. I don’t always go to church every Sunday either. And to be perfectly honest, I don’t pray enough. I have always kept quiet about my shortcomings because I see and hear all of these people around me that have an intimate knowledge of the bible, and quote scripture and verses off the top of their heads. They have the perfect thing to say at the exact right time. I don’t have that. I don’t have anything close to that, and I kind of feel like I am failing.

I often wonder if there are other people that feel the same way that I do. I am busy with my job, going to school, trying to write, doing a weekly radio show, trying to squeeze in flag football every week to stay in somewhat decent shape, and then there is family. I have a wife and four kids that need my attention. From school activities to karate, to appointments to the speech and OT therapy sessions, it is hectic. Sometimes I forget to sit down for a couple of minutes a day and read my bible or just pray. And when I realize it later in the day, I feel really bad about it.

Why can’t I be more like those people that I see at church. It comes so naturally to them, and I have to work so hard. Does that make me less of a Christian? I think that anyone that has recently come to Christ may have these feelings. I hope that I am not the only one. I hope that I am not some terrible person that is not strong enough to make the commitment that is needed. It is a question that has bothered me for some time, until this past Sunday.

I made it to church this past Sunday, a little late, but I made it. We are studying the book of Galatians during service, and for the first time, I didn’t feel that lost or left out feeling. We were covering how Jesus was the Promise by God, that Jesus would be the Sacrifice that would absolve mankind of their sins. That we no longer would be bound by the Laws of the Old Testament to rule our everyday lives, and that the Promise by God to Abraham that faith and devotion to our Savior would lead us to everlasting life in the Kingdom of Heaven was all that we needed.

We don’t have to be perfect, Jesus already did that for us. We don’t have to live up to some certain standard, wether it is something that someone puts on you, or you put on yourself. You are supposed to live your life the best that you can, and love and trust in The Lord, and you will live the life and the plan that God has for you.

It has taken me a couple of years to realize this. I always thought that there is something more that I am supposed to be doing. I thought that I was letting God down and that he would be disappointed with me, because I am not good enough, and I don’t do enough. Don’t get me wrong, I know that I can do more, it is just taking me longer to figure out what he has planned for me, and how to balance it with my hectic life. But God decided long before you and I were born, that we are good enough, that we are perfect the way that we are.

I started writing in 2011 as a means to vent, get stuff off of my chest, and to get stuff out of my head. I write about sports, and the teams that I love. I have never really delved into my personal life, and have never felt the need to. But I have been thinking about it for quite some time now. I never thought that I would write about my faith, and I certainly didn’t think that I would be able to quote scripture or verse, but I want to leave you with this from Galatians 3:24-26…

24. Let me put it another way. The law was our guardian until Christ came; it
protected us until we could be made right with God through faith. 25. And now
that the way of faith has come, we no longer need the law as our guardian. 26.
For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus.

I know in my heart that my faith in Christ will show me the way every time, and I never have to feel lost again.

-Sean Sheehan

18me&boys

Sean Sheehan is a learning Christian, devoted husband and loving father of four wonderful boys. He has a fulltime job and attends school part time. He is an aspiring writer and an amateur radio show host. He is also an enthusiastic runner and a fairly decent slot receiver in his flag football league. Life is AWESOME!! To keep up with what Sean is doing, you can go to any of the following: The Hub Sports (also on Facebook and Twitter) and Spitin Truth Radio (also on TwitterFacebook, and BlogTalkRadio). Email: LifeIsAwesome@seanmsheehan.com

photo credit: golbenge (골뱅이) via photopin cc

One Response to “I’m New Here… And I Think I’m Lost”

  1. For the Love of God April 12, 2013 at 22:37 #

    Sean, awesome transparency here. I think we as men need this type of honesty so badly. I love your bio “learning Christian.” I think we all should be always learning. Thanks for the real post!

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