Ask Not What Your Wife Can Do For You…

15 Apr

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Think about your favorite hobby. If it’s like most hobbies, there’s probably some aspect of doing it that’s not enjoyable.  No golfer says, “I really enjoy having to arrange a tee time.” Disclaimer: I golf maybe once a year as part of a work outing. I have no idea how golf prep works. Perhaps there’s apps where you can schedule a time in 15 seconds on your phone.  I’m guessing that for fishing, scrapping the barnacles off the boat and gutting the fish isn’t the reason people enjoy it. If you do fish in order to gut fish, you need to seek help.

Imagine if out of the blue your wife said, “Hey honey, I went ahead, got a tee time ready, got the clubs loaded up, and you’re all set to go on a round of golf with your friends.” Or “Go ahead and go fishing. When you get back, I’ll clean up the boat. And the fish are going to be in the red cooler, right? I’ll take care of them.”  I think we’d agree that it would be pretty awesome, right? It’s something you’d try to subtly brag to your coworkers in a sneaky manner. “Oh, I really hope they start a conversation about how the weekend went….”

So then, why not do this for your wife? For her hobbies, ask what the boring parts are. Learn how to do them, and offer to do them. This idea came to me after my wife stated she wanted to do some sewing, but she would have to switch the thread in the serger (that’s a special-type of sewing machine). Switching the thread is a pain and takes a long time. I told my wife I would do that for her if she taught me how. Get a bunch of stuff done in a certain manner so that the final result is a machine working properly? Sounds like a thing guys enjoy doing.

If your wife’s hobby is cooking, then tell her that one day you’ll clean up the entire kitchen when she’s done.  She won’t need to worry about keeping caught up on the dishes or how many she’ll be using, she’ll just be having fun.

No, I know some people are thinking, “Wait, what about my time? What about my hobbies?” Was that your reaction after the golf and fishing stories? I’m pretty sure when you read them, you didn’t think, “Well, that’s awfully nice of her, but I don’t want to take her time.” Right now, we have a newborn. He likes mom the best. Mom needs to feed him. If he’s cranky, he’ll usually just calm down if he’s by mom. My wife’s time is consumed heavily right now. If there’s something I can do to make the free time more enjoyable, I can try to do it.

What’s your wife’s hobby? What part of it do you think you could help with?

-Bryan Logan

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Bryan Logan is a father in Rochester, MN. He’s most likely to be writing analogies using geeky references. You can follow him and his wife’s blog at http://www.logan.cc/blog/ or follow Bryan on Twitter.

photo credit: splityarn via photopin cc

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