Learning To Be Dependent

20 May

I want to share with you a story, a story about a man who was trying to land on his feet.  This is a tale about a husband and expectant father trying to provide for his family and how opportunity seemed to be just beyond his reach.

You see, as I was trying to provide, I was confronted with the realization that I can’t do it on my own.  Just as we know from “The Big Lebowski” that the Dude abides, I needed to learn that God would provide. 

I’m going to be honest though, it’s a tough thing to rely on a significant portion of your income on your wife’s earnings.  And please here me out, I am not some macho guy who tells my wife to submit, and I am certainly not that guy who is intimidated by a competent woman with a career.  I am also not a metrosexual, skinny jeans wearer with a cool mustache.  Yes, I do have a beard, pre-Lasik Rob Bell eyeglasses, and like fair trade coffee, but I am not in either the macho or metro category.  I am just a normal guy, a young man trying to step into the role of a dad who provides for his family.

While I love the fact my wife is a great teacher, it’s emasculating being in a place where I can’t provide adequately.  In fact, it sucks.

But you know what has happened while I was (and am) in this emotional pit?

I relearned with countless reminders something I forgot.  Something I once knew years ago that was recovered and restored.  I remembered how to be dependent.  I remembered that it is OK to rely on another, I needed to rely more on God.

Being a husband and soon-to-be father, I think this realization might mean more than all the money in the world.  Of course, I’ll still work hard and my break will come, but until that happens, I know that God provides.  And when things break open, I will be confident to look to the hills, for I know where my help comes from.  Dear brothers, he’s done it before, he’ll do it again.

As I read through the Psalms, this bedrock assertion is all I can hold on to sometimes.  For the mighty men of Israel, trusting in God’s provision is a good place to start when it comes to recovering robust masculinity.

Hustle and work smart, of course, that matters greatly.  But sometimes we need to hold on to a confidence in God’s provision.  This same God who brought Israel out of bondage in Egypt and the same God who raised Christ from the dead, this same God abides.  He’s done it before, he’ll do it again.

For it is you who light my lamp

The LORD my God lightens my darkness.

For by you I can run against a troop,

and by my God I can leap over a wall.

Psalm 18:28-29

-Jeremy Riley

Jeremy Riley is the happily married husband of an incredible woman and is also a soon to be dad.  He is a recent graduate of Fuller Seminary and is currently living the dream in Orange County.  As a political staffer, he serves people by day and writes on the side.  He is a history lover, political junkie, and a stand-up desk guy.  Jeremy blogs regularly on the intersection of faith and life at jeremydriley.com and tweets @jeremydriley.

2 Responses to “Learning To Be Dependent”


  1. When You Don't Understand | Jeremy Riley: In a few words - May 28, 2013

    […] thing I can do.  All I can do is look to the hills, for God alone provides.  As I wrote over at More Than A Beard last week, “sometimes we need to hold on to a confidence in God’s provision.  This same […]

  2. A Big Milestone! | More Than A Beard - June 19, 2013

    […] “Learning To Be Dependent” By Jeremy Riley […]

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