Giving Gifts with Her Completely in Mind

10 Dec

As Christmas approaches, I am once again faced with what seems like a monumental task – finding my wife gifts for Christmas.  Now, I want to be clear.  It is not because my wife is demanding, or has everything, or is difficult to please.  It is more because I simply want her to…  and then I started thinking.  What is it that I want for her this Christmas?

Do I want her to have new stuff?  Do I want to fulfill the society expectations of buying, buying, and more buying?  The commercialization of Christmas focuses humans as consumers, and not as real people who are much more than simply people who need and use physical things.

So this Christmas, I want to try a new approach – an approach to Christmas that focuses on my wife’s total well-being.  I wanted to think beyond the physical  (especially since buying her exercise videos might not go over so well).  So here we go…

Mental Well-being

What does my wife need to hear most from me this Christmas season?  Is there an answer that she has been waiting for?  Is there a discussion that we have been putting off, but need to have?   Do I know the answer to this question (if not maybe that is a problem?)

What does my wife need to hear from me in order to put her mind at peace?

What does my wife need to receive from me in order to build-up her up?

What sign can I give that shows I am supportive of her mental pursuits and well-being?

Emotional Well-being

The holiday season is always full of emotions.  Many of them good.  Sometimes they are not as easy.  As you look ahead to this Christmas, what is the emotional outlook?  I want to support her emotionally this Christmas.  What do I know will weigh on her this Christmas season?  How can I most show her that I care during this time?  How can I plan ahead to care for the emotions that I know arise before and after the holidays? 

What is something that I can do to support her emotional well-being?

What is something that I can give to show that I support her emotional well-being?

What is something that I can say (write, sing, or speak) to show that I support her emotional well-being?

Social Well-being

I know that I am not able to fulfill all of my wife’s social needs.  So what can I do in order to make sure that her social needs are being met.  I could call up some friends, and set up a dinner date for us as a couple.  I could provide or arrange child-care so that she can have some extra time out of the house.  I could even call one of her friends that I know she would love to see and arrange money and time for them to get together.

How can I enable my wife to spend time with a close friend this season?

Who does my wife most need to spend time with this Christmas season?

Spiritual Well-being

I want to encourage and provide for the spiritual well-being of my family.  What does my wife most need that I can provide in order to further develop and encourage her?  Maybe it is commiting to pray for her every day?  Maybe it is commiting to pray with her every day?  Maybe it is picking up a book that will help her in her devotional life?  Is there a retreat or conference for women that you can send her to?  Does she have a mentor that she would love to get away for the weekend?

What can I do to provide an environment where she can flourish spiritually?

Is there something that I need to do (change) in order to care for her spiritual well-being?

The secret to great gift-giving isn’t really a system.  It is knowing the person.  Do you know your wife?  Have you been watching, listening, and learning who she is, and what her needs are?  This truly is the first step, and essential to a successful Christmas.

Hopefully these questions will help guide you to a Christmas like no other.

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Managing Director of EA Resources.  david in hat

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