Does Fatherhood mean the end of Me Time?

2 Jan

I have learned many things in the few months I have been a dad, but one of the huge lessons I have come to understand more fully is that I need to extend myself grace.  I especially need to give myself grace when it comes to developing my own personal projects.

Like a lot of men, I have dreams.  I have plans on what I would like to accomplish this year and five years and ten years from now.  The thing is, I also have a three month old daughter at home and often the sweet longing for sleep competes against my dreams.

Jeremy Riley

Dreams and desires are indeed a good thing.  I think it’s perfectly fine to want to grow as a person, to sharpen one’s minds or pursue a passion responsibly. Using passions, hobbies, and larger life dreams to better oneself is great in my mind, but not at the cost of losing a family.

For me, my passion for writing is difficult to maintain when the demands of diapers, cries, and other basic life necessities constantly show up.  It’s difficult to justify time spent on my projects when life relentlessly demands my attention.

But here’s the thing I’ve also learned: I need to fight for those times.

I need to carve out a little bit of space to pursue passions; otherwise I will be a wreck of a man.  If I do not have an outlet, I simply will implode.  The same thing goes with stay at home moms too; they also need outlets apart from the demands of a child.

I have come to the conclusion that I will indeed battle for my passions for sanity’s sake, but not at the expense of losing out on enjoying time with my Lucy. While time will be carved out, I will try and give myself grace when my best laid plans fall through.

I hope you choose that path as well when life deals you a full hand.

Jeremy is a twenty-something husband, father to a beautiful daughter, 
and recent graduate student. He is a SoCal transplant in San Francisco 
where he helps youth think through big questions of life. In short: 
Christ-follower. Political junkie. History nerd. Book enthusiast. 
Stand-up desk guy. Dark beer and robust coffee lover.

3 Responses to “Does Fatherhood mean the end of Me Time?”

  1. Marc January 2, 2014 at 21:50 #

    It is all about the proper balance. You’ll figure it out :). I am not a huge Zig Ziglar fan but I do like his line that is something like, “You’ll get anything you want when you give others what they want.”

    Your baby needs dad to be dad.

    • Jeremy Riley January 16, 2014 at 17:01 #

      Thanks for the encouragement, Marc. I do enjoy being a dad!

      • Marc January 16, 2014 at 17:29 #

        Me too…to all 7 of them here!

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