Are you Impossible to buy for? (Four types of Men)

3 Jun

We all know men who are impossible to buy for.  No matter if you shop early, shop late, or shop around the clock, you will never find anything to please them.  I believe there are four types of men who fit this description. 

The Hoarders are hard to buy for because they already have everything that they will ever need (or can make it from duct tape).  This is the man who keeps everything ever given to him, and unfortunately for the rest of us, still squeezes into some of those college t-shirts.  Fashion, current trends, and up-dated technology is simply not important to the Hoarder.

The Minimalists are the guys who don’t have everything, but simply don’t need anything.  The minimalist avoids shopping malls and spending money for any reason.  My father fits this description.  He is frugal minimalist, and regularly tells us that instead of a gift, he prefers we keep the money.  He means it.

The Spenders are the men love things, but always buy it for themselves before anyone else can help them.  This is the man who contrary to gender stereotypes, loves to shop, and is extremely impulsive.  He may even tell you want he wants, but will purchase it while strolling down the aisle at Walmart because, “It was mark-down.”

The Pickers are those men who are just not pleased unless they get exactly what they want.   Pickers don’t want a sweatshirt, but the dark red one that I saw hanging up at Kohl’s two months earlier.  You can’t get him any video game, but a particular one.  Their expectations are set, and they are usually very specific.

I am an extreme Picker.  I always know exactly what I want, and I definitely remove the joy of giving from my family.  As you can imagine, my holiday gifts are often compromised by cash and gift cards (even those had better be from the Right store).  I am not proud of this fact, and I am aware that they have a name for people like me… several actually.  Ungrateful, picky, and anal are the first three that come to mind.  The list could go on, but it isn’t encouraging so I will stop.

I want to change who I am.  I want to be known as a grateful receiver.  I want to be someone who is fun to plan special things for.  I don’t want my wife to dread the holidays wondering whether I will happy, or standing in a return line the next morning.

I have spent some time thinking about what it would require for me to become a grateful receiver.

flowers for you1.  A Grateful receiver begins with a humble heart.

A heart that says, I don’t deserve anything.  Your gift is an expression of love to me that I don’t deserve.  Down deep, I must feel that I deserve something because I am a good husband or father.  Humility is also key to being a grateful receiver of God’s gift.  Feeling as if you deserve anything runs contrary to the power of the gospel.  Pride runs contrary to all that is Christ-like.

2.  A Grateful receiver looks at the giver, not the gift. 

A heart that looks past the gift, and towards the giver.  What are the thoughts and emotions behind the gift?  Did you take the time to look the Giver in the face, and read their card, their face, their emotions?  Neglecting these steps reveals that we are too focused on the gift.

3.  A Grateful receiver reflects on the gift.

I need to take more time to reflect on what people have given.  There is a need for instant thanksgiving, but there is also a need for reflective gratitude.  In Luke 17:15-19, Jesus tells the story of the ten leapers, and how only one of them returned to say thank you.

“And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, returned, and with a loud voice glorified God, and fell down on his face at His feet, giving Him thanks. And he was a Samaritan.  So Jesus answered and said, “Were there not ten cleansed? But where are the nine? 18 Were there not any found who returned to give glory to God except this foreigner?”  And He said to him, “Arise, go your way. Your faith has made you well.”

May I seek out those who have blessed me, and share with them how God used them in my life to encourage and keep me going.

So as Father’s Day approaches, what can you do to make sure that your heart is ready to be a grateful receiver.  Whether your family expresses their love through a gift or service, don’t steal the joy of giving from your family members. 

One Response to “Are you Impossible to buy for? (Four types of Men)”

  1. outstandingbachelor June 3, 2014 at 11:15 #

    I am a minimalist.

    The best gift I can wish to receive is your friendship.

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