Don’t make Your Wife Pick a Fight with You.

8 Jul

© 2006 金娜 Kim S, Flickr | CC-BY-SA | via Wylio


Whether or not Rachel will admit it publicly (or would love for everyone to read about it), she once started a fight because she “needed to see some emotion from me.”  I had probably spent the evening working on my own, watching TV, or playing a video game.  Since I am not always in great need of personal connection, I was enjoying my personal isolation, but my wife was not feeling the same way.

After hours of feeling alone, and feeling as if I didn’t care anything about what she was doing, she needed some connection.  After she tried and failed to get it through other means, a fight seemed like her only option.

desperate from Flickr via Wylio

© 2003 soei_cs_82, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

While I would not suggest conflict as a means of getting attention, it solved the problem.  I usually get emotional during our conflicts – anger, sadness, or any other emotions can erupt.  In this case, my wife would rather have me angry at her (which usually leads to reconciliation), than for her to feel no emotion at all towards her.

Sometimes women will endure the conflict in order to get to the intimacy involved in resolution.

Women would be satisfied with simple words that reflect not simply how we as men think, but how we feel.  In daily conversation, women ask questions hoping for emotional connection, but men respond with answers driven solely by reason.

I realize that sometimes my lack of displaying emotion can cause a lack of intimacy in our marriage.  Learning to show emotion is not something that men are particularly known for being good at, but it is a skill that all men can develop.

One Response to “Don’t make Your Wife Pick a Fight with You.”

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