Archive | December, 2014

35 Things We’d Better Tell Our Sons About Harassment, Assault & “Boys will be Boys”

18 Dec

Just read a powerful article by Ann Voskamp, a NY Time best-selling author of A Thousand Gifts.  This article is important because it discusses what to teach our adolescents and emerging adults about sexual abuse and violence.

boyswillbeboysHere is the Article!

It is longer than many articles, so make sure that you have the time to read and digest it.  Each time that I have read it, I finished inspired and encouraged in my role as a man and father of three sons.

Wow, here are a few of my favorite quotes.

1.  And better stories begin around our dinner tables and our kitchen sinks.

Stories around our dinner tables and kitchen requires spending time together as a family.  This requires saying no to the endless activities of our world, and saying yes to better things.

2.  It is the scarred ones who make the Body of Christ sensitive.  

I know because I am a scarred one.  I was actually scarred by  the church (and I am not alone).  I am not thankful to those who gave them to me, but I am grateful to the God who sustains me daily.  These scars don’t define me, but they have shaped me in ways I once never imagine.

2014-09-28 13.35.063.  You don’t value a woman by telling yourself that she’s some man’s sister, or daughter, or mother. A woman doesn’t derive value from having men in her life that value and like her. A woman has value because she is made in the image and likeness of God. Period.

I have heard this false argument so many times.  Women do not receive their value due to their relationships with men.  They have value because of their relationship to God as Creator.  I don’t want my sons to treat women respectfully because they fear a dad sitting in the living room cleaning a gun.  I want my sons to fear God to whom they will give an account one day.

4.  That’s what you have to get, Sons — Real Manhood knows the heart of God for the daughters of His heart.

I want my sons to know that Real Manhood understands God’s love for men and women.

5.  Son, let everything you read of women be shaped by how Jesus sealed His view and value of women.

There is a beautiful piece of poetry in the center about Jesus’ view of women.  It is amazing.

May God make me a real man who will stand up for the value of women in the church.

May God make me a real father who will teach my sons to value women.

May God do the same to you.

 

david in hat - blackDr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to minister to the needs of Emerging Adults and their parents.

 

 

Beard Baubles to Brighten Your Christmas Season!

16 Dec

Came across this article last week (Thanks to faithful reader, Shelly Dupont!), and I wanted to share it with you.

beard-baubles-christmas-decoration-11

Here is the article that shares how Beard Baubles can brighten your Christmas.

However, we all know the true light of Christmas is Christ alone.  May you spend time in His presence this Christmas.

 

 

 

Are Athletes good role models? – My son’s affection for Adrian Peterson

11 Dec

Earlier this week, I wrote about Bill Cosby, and how to respond to fallen role models.  This has been a year filled with fallen role models in our home.

We have lived in Minnesota for the last 13 years, and my middle son (who is 8) loves sports.  He loves playing and watching them.  So you can imagine his sadness when he came home from school talking about Adrian Peterson (running back for the Vikings) who earlier this year accepted a plea deal for child abuse.  My son was devastated for the team, and that someone who seems so honored by society could have hurt his son.

In light of our discussion about role models, I found this great article by CT, and I wanted to share it with you.  The article is entitled “Christian Athletes are not Role Models.”

May God guide us as we seek to live a live worthy of emulation.

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit based on providing resources for Emerging Adults and their parents.  He admits that he is not a sports fan, and has never watched a complete football game.

 

Daddy, is it true? – Helping our children deal with Bill and a world of fallen role models.

9 Dec

I love the Cosby show.  I think that my favorite episode is when Rudy plays her football game, and does the Rudy shuffle.  The entire series was so funny, so positive, and so… wholesome.  Due to the wonders of Hulu, I introduced my sons to the Huxtable family.  We would sit and laugh together on the couch, and would discuss afterwards what we learned, and what we enjoyed about the show.

When the news broke about the allegations against Bill Cosby, a legend of Hollywood, I didn’t want to believe it.  It hurt.  It was if one of my cherished childhood comics had been ripped in two before my eyes (which really would have been tragic).  Like many other negative news stories, I ignore it, and hoped that it would go away.

It was only a matter of time before my sons heard the news.  We were walking through Target checkout line when they recognized his face on the front page of every magazine.  Within a few seconds, they knew the stories were not good.

Daddy, is it true? 

At first, I ignored the question.

I could tell by the tone of his voice that my son already knew what it would mean.  It would mean the death of a childhood memory for them.  It would mean a piece of their innocent worldview would be destroyed.  It would mean another role model destroyed by the power of wealth and fame.  I was stunned, and didn’t know what to say.

Daddy, is it true?

Luckily, it is a question that I cannot answer.  I am not Bill’s judge, jury, or one of the alleged victims.  I don’t need to investigate for I am not in charge of justice.  I don’t need an apology for I am not one who was hurt.

I am simply a father raising boys in a world of fallen role models.  I must look into the eyes of my son, and answer the question, “Daddy, is it true?”  and walk him through the ramifications of that question.

While quite speechless there in the checkout aisle at Target, I know what I want my boys to understand.

1.  Follow others only as they follow Christ.

People are not meant for pedestals.  We are marred by sin, and are often controlled by its power.  We long for something beautiful, and want to gaze upon something (or someone) that we perceive as better.

We want someone to look up to, and to pattern our lives after.  Pedestals in today’s world are often based upon – fame, success, fortune, and power.  However, these pedestals should not be emulated.

Through the grace of God, Paul said, “Follow me, as I follow Christ.”  Paul’s pedestal was entirely dependent on his decisions to follow Christ.  (1 Corinthians 11:1)  Due to human sinfulness, all role models are limited in longevity and scope.

Follow others only as they follow Christ.

2.  Never seek a pedestal. If you find yourself on one, give it away.

Unfortunately, we live in a world that is deeply ruled by sin.  Pedestals bring power, and humans rarely handle power well.  All power corrupts.  Western Christianity is littered with men and women who had good intentions, and were corrupted by the power that pedestals bring.

When placed on a pedestal, we receive attention.  This attention feels nice, and we don’t want to lose this attention.  When placed in this spotlight, we worry that our faults and cracks will be seen, so like the Christmas tree which gets turned to hide its bare spot, we turn upon our pedestal to hide.

True power is revealed when one releases power – this is what showed Jesus’ power.

3.  Jesus alone deserves a pedestal.

Jesus alone was able to handle power.  Jesus, who being in the form of God, didn’t think that power was something to grasp or control, but he was willing to let power go.  This is why God exalted him to the highest place, so that at the name of Jesus, every knee will bow, and every tongue will confess Jesus, to the glory of God the Father.   (Phil 2)

When we began to watch the Cosby Show, I didn’t say to my boys, “Boys, Bill is a good man.  You should listen to him, look up to him, and follow him.”  They did it naturally because he was funny.  Because he is famous.  Because he is on TV.

How important it is for me to daily present Jesus in a good light.  For us to sit around and read about his life.  How important it is for me to say, “Jesus is a perfect man.  You should listen to him, look up to him, and follow him.”

Today, may you point your children to the only role model that will never fail.

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources.  He is the father of three awesome boys who keep him reflecting on authentic faith in a changing culture.  If you have questions for him, you can contact him at gdavid@earesources.org.

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