Archive | September, 2015

When a boy becomes a man? – Huff Post

29 Sep

I recently came across this well-written article, and I wanted to share it with my readers.  The author, Melissa Schultz, is a mother who is transitioning from a full house into an empty nest.  She shares her mother’s perspective on what it means to be a man.

Here is the article.


The positives of this article:

  1.  It doesn’t link manhood to various traditional, yet lacking markers – like having children, making money, or growing a beard.
  2. Great portrayal of a mother’s struggle to allow her children to grow up.  “And then, even then, when we see our sons as men, sometimes, we still secretly see them as our little boys. Because we want to. Not because they are.”
  3. Gives several inadequate markers of manhood, but doesn’t fully answer the question, “What makes a man?”  Her answer is, “For me, a boy becomes a man when he lets himself fall in love. It says he’s ready and willing to discover who he really is, to take risks; to care for someone other than himself.”  While the ability to fall in love can be a mark of knowing who they really are (self-discovery), take risks (courage), and caring for others (self-less), these characteristics are still greatly lacking.

I think that all men regularly ask themselves if they are truly a man.  As boys, we long every day to become a man, and yet often never fully feel satisfied that we have arrived.  These uncertain feelings can lead men to a lack of confidence and confusion.

While we can never adequately define manhood, we can encourage one another in this journey.

Here are some additional articles that encourage you (or someone you love) in this pursuit.

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to encourage emerging adults and their parents.

Rejecting Ashley Madison

10 Sep

Ashley Madison is  a Canada-based online dating service and social networking service marketed to people who are married or in a committed relationship. Its slogan is “Life is short. Have an affair.” The website was launched in 2001. The name of the site was created from two popular female names, “Ashley” and “Madison”. (Source)


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Three Marks of the Spiritually Immature

8 Sep

My youngest son – Tobias.

Babies require a lot of attention.

  • Babies cannot feed themselves.
  • Babies stick.
  • Babies can’t defend themselves.

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Every Guy’s Struggle

3 Sep

© 2012 Ryan Li, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

In my ministry, men often ask about the topic of pornography.  Pornography is a topic that we regularly highlight.  Here are some recent articles posted on MTAB:

10 Lies Men Believe about Pornography

Is Russell Brand our new ally in the battle against Pornography?

Pornography and Proverbs 5

Fighting America’s Newest Drug


I came across an article on Christianty Today that speaks to this issue.  I hope that daily you are becoming more like Joseph who has the strength to flee temptation.



6 Growth Practices for Leaders – by Mark Oestreicher

1 Sep

Slide1One of the people that I follow in my reading is Mark Oestreicher.  I don’t know him personally (although we are Facebook friends).  I like Mark because he is quirky and unpredictable.  He put a post out last week, and it is worth sharing.

It is so short that I included all of it, but here is the link to Mark’s website.

one of my coaching peeps asked recently for thoughts about growth practices of leaders. i did a little brainstorming while listening to others respond, and came up with this list (uncharacteristically, for me, all starting with the same letter!):

  • Rhythm — some refer to this as balance; but i’m not a big fan of balance. i think the issue, instead, is sustainability. great leaders pursue a rhythm of work and non-work that leads to sustainability.
  • Read — you know the saying, “Leaders are Readers.” read widely.
  • Risk — there is no growth without risk.
  • Renew — healthy leaders find meaningful pursuits that provide recalibration, refreshment and renewal.
  • Reflect — great leaders make intentional time to reflect. this requires a discipline of slowing down (at times).
  • Retreat — overlapping with some of the other practices on this list (particularly rhythm, renewal and reflection), growing leaders pull away for extended times on a regular basis. short bursts of renewal and reflection are great; but real growth also requires more extended retreat.

stop and consider which one of these you’re missing


MThe O Familyark  Oestreicher is a partner in The Youth Cartel, providing services and resources for individual youth workers and organizations. He is married to Jeannie for 28 years, and has two great kids: Liesl (20) and Max (16). Here’s The Youth Cartel’s website. twitter: @markosbeard instagram: @whyismarko

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