Archive | February, 2017

Do your kids need friends?

23 Feb

After relocating my family from Minnesota to Indiana, our family has had to make a few adjustments.  Although my wife and I had grown up in Indiana, our lives had changed, and our whole family found ourselves looking for new friends.

Around the dinner table, we discuss how everyone’s day went, and inevitably we end up on the topic of friendship.  Do you have any?  Who are they? and What they are like? 

Unfortunately, we did something everyone says NOT to do.  We moved while our kids are in Middle School.  During this transition, we put a lot of pressure on my boys when it comes to making friends.  I remember my junior high years, every day after school, I would break down in tears because I felt unwanted at my school.

Sometimes, we as parents put too much emphasis on making friends their own age.  Here is a great clip from the Middle (a great TV series for parents), that shows why having peer friendships might be over-rated.

Here is the link.brick-peer-relationships

 

Dad, will you do something with me?

21 Feb

picture with boys“Dad,I am getting ready to leave for grandma’s house, and I want you to say goodbye.”  I reached out my hands blindly in his direction and gave him a hug.  My head never turned, but I continued pondering the work that was before me.

“No, Dad.  Look at me.”  My son raised his voice to break me out of my work-induced coma.

I knew he was right.

“I am sorry, buddy. I am just trying to get some work done.”  In the back of mind, I hear the song “The Cat’s in the Cradle” playing (a song which by the way has been banned from the house by my children believe it is too sad).

Time passes whether we want it to or not.  Whether we reflect on it or not.  Reflecting on the endless march of time often brings strong emotion whether over the memories of my childhood, the passing of young adulthood, and even hitting 40.

Each moment is a gift from God.  In today’s world of modern medicine, I sometimes we feel that reaching 75 is a given.  Life, however, has no guarantees.  Just this morning on Facebook, I read about the death of friend from college who died at 40.

Just as each moment is a gift from God, each moment that you share with your children is a gift from you.  In our household, we limit the amount of television that is on in the home, and so shortly after instructing them to turn off the TV, I receive the question, “Dad, will you do something with me?”

I am sad to admit that often the words are regularly met with some sadness or frustration because I feel that I have more important things to do.

However, those are words that as a father that I long to hear and remember.

So today, I will sit down on the floor, or make myself comfortable at his bedside.  I will give my sons a gift that costs no money – the warmth of my presence.  I will fight being driven by duty, but truly engage the moment.

I resolve to find joy in it – whether reading the Bernstein Bears or building with Legos.  I will listen to every word, focus on every movement, and linger with every touch – knowing that Fatherhood is a gift, and in it – I can find great joy.

David - Prof 2Dr. G. David Boyd is the Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit that focuses on equipping churches and parents to minister to the needs of emerging adults.

 

Manhood – More Than a Beard

14 Feb

The purpose of MTAB (morethanabeard) is to remind men that your status as a man is not based upon your physique or other standards by which we are sometimes judged.

Image result for nick vujicic imagesOne man who continues to inspire me is a man named Nick Vujicic.  His story and speaking continues to encourage me as a man of faith.  Here is a video to introduce Nick to you.

Prepare yourself – It is awesome.

Premature Intimacy

9 Feb

 

wedding-1

Copyright by Aaron Roberts Photography 2016

 

I believe in purity. I believe in purity rings. I believe in setting physical boundaries in relationships in order to keep from hurting ourselves and others. This is something that is often taught, lectured, and discussed in Christian circles. However, I think we are missing something. Something BIG.

Physical intimacy is something to be shared only within the boundaries of marriage. God created a special connection called marriage for a man and a woman to enjoy sex and physical intimacy.

However, after years of working with students, I have discovered that there are many students who while keeping their bodies pure, have crossed over boundaries in other areas that I believe should be reserved for God’s design of marriage.

Is physical intimacy the only intimacy a man and woman can experience? As humans, we know that there are several types of intimacy that two humans can enjoy including emotional, spiritual, and physical. I believe that God desires to keep us pure until marriage in every aspect of our lives. I believe that intimacy in all areas should be reserved for marriage.

(While I am not usually into dissecting human relationships into different aspects, please be patient as you will quickly see my point without a drawn-out explanation of each area, or a need for distinct lines. I usually run from books that dissect relationships into a new way just to sell books. However, because of the Purity Movement, and its focus on the physical intimacy of teens, I felt this needed to be written.)

There should be boundaries in various areas of our lives that keep Christians from becoming intimate too quickly. Christians should be careful so that they do not cross the line of “two becoming one” before they enter into marriage.

For example, many young adults are surprised to hear that I do not encourage them to share their devotional lives. I do believe that guys and girls can and should pray together, but regular times of deep prayer/ bible study as a couple can cause premature spiritual intimacy. Your spiritual health becomes dependent on the other person, and so when the relationship is broken, you are left to pick up the pieces of your walk with Christ. Students should regularly talk about their spiritual lives, but boundaries should exist.

This is also true when it comes to emotional intimacy. Both guys and girls bear their entire hearts in a relationship, and then feel emotionally vulnerable after the relationship is over. No wonder they feel uncomfortable after the break-up and can no longer be friends. A boundary has been crossed.

I have worked with too many guys and girls who have not kept boundaries in their lives, and so with each broken relationship they wound their heart. These wounds turn into scars, and scars lead to calluses. A calloused heart can hurt a marriage even before it begins, so let’s guard ourselves from premature intimacy.

I am not saying that dating or relationships are evil. I simply want students to retain intimacy for the day that they walk down the aisle.

What are your thoughts and experiences? What do you think are some good boundaries to put up in a dating relationship?

Other Posts on Love and Dating:

David - Prof 2Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources.

 

 

When do you say “I Love You” while dating?

7 Feb

I saw this article last week, and wanted to share it with my readers.  I still remember the first time that I said those words to my wife.  It was over Christmas break when we celebrated our first gift exchange.  The words – I love you – are extremely powerful, and some reflection should occur before they cross your lips.

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To say “I love you” is a big step in a dating relationship. Love carries with it the weight of potential covenant and future intimacy. But how do you know when to say I love you? Like many of the relationship decisions discussed on this blog, the timing of I love you will look different for each couple. Even so, this individuality should be guided by biblical principles. God gives us His wisdom for questions like these.

Read the original article here!

Here are some additional articles on love and dating:

David - Prof 2Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources.

Ponder before you Post.

2 Feb

Psalm 12:6 – The words of the LORD are pure words; As silver tried in a furnace on the earth, refined seven times.

I think that we all have seen how religious and political conversations can turn ugly – sometimes extremely quickly.

I recently saw a friend with a health condition lamenting that she might no longer be able to get insurance.  Within a few hours, a storm erupted around the comment.

facebook from Flickr via WylioThe religious and political fervor was so thick that at one point, a woman (who self-proclaimed her stance upon biblical principles – of course) condemned my friend – expressing how my friend’s mother (who had tragically passed away) would have been disappointed in her daughter’s beliefs.

I read these comments in horror.

I wondered where had empathy gone?  How had human decency disappeared?  I mourned the loss of Christian compassion?

Here is my favorite quote from the article.

We’ve seen why online conversations seem to slide out of control so quickly. It’s because, in real life, social rituals act as dampeners on emotional reactivity. Once you remove dampeners, things get unstable. That’s how social life works.

Read the rest of the article here.

Before you post, prayerfully ponder your words a few times before you hit the submit button.

David - Prof 2Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources  and the EA Network.

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