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Gifts for Father’s Day

2 May

Do you have trouble buying something for that special man in your life?

  • Does he seem to have everything that he needs?
  • If you ask him what he wants, does he stare as if you are speaking a foreign language?
  • If you pick it out, does it lay in the closet, or get returned?
  • Are you tired of buying tools and duct tape?

Here are some ideas to help you make this Father’s Day Amazing.

1.  Personalized Gifts – Rather than run to Walmart the day before – a gift that is unique to your family member is always a win whether it is a keychain or ring.  Here is a company that I would recommend for a personalized gift.  Or consider a personalized sign – from here.The Madison

2.  Create a moment.  A gift that would create a memory with the family, or relive a memory from their past.  What does the man in your life love to do, and how could you give him a  reason to do something he loves?  Maybe it is a trip to the shooting range for your hunter, or scheduling a Star Wars marathon party for that Nerd that you love.  What is unique to them which could create a memory? 

3.  Reflect on Love.  Take a moment to reflect individually or together on an aspect of your relationship.  This could be through a well-written card, or a walk around the block.  Some men love the public praise given on social media like Facebook or a Tweet, while others prefer a private expression of love.  As a father of three active boys, it is truly a gift when my wife works with them to plan a meaningful expression of love.    

picture with boys4.  Celebrate his Fatherhood.  A gift that helps the man of your life focus on the laughter and love he has with his children.  Children can be stressful, and sometimes dads need some assistance in planning times of relaxation and fun with their kids. Each dad is different, so whether it is throwing a ball with your son, or building a Lego set – what is something that celebrates his particular strengths as a father.

Becoming a good gift giver does take some work including reflecting on the person receiving the gift and discerning what would bring them joy. 

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Managing Director of EA Resources.  He is the father of three boys, and a beautiful wife.

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Drew Dyck on Depression and Anxiety

18 Apr

Drew Dyck is an acquisitions editor at Moody Publishers and a senior editor at CTPastors.com.  Drew Dyck is the author of Generation Ex-Christian (of which I am a fan).  In this article, Drew writes about his journey through anxiety and depression.

I have had my own struggle with depression – due to PTCD (Post-Traumatic Church Disorder).  So I know the destruction it can bring.  I hope this article will be an encouragement to you.

Three months ago I took my last antidepressant.

Well, it was more like a sliver of an antidepressant, a pink little tab cracked off from a larger one. I had been weaning off Paroxetine (the generic form of Paxil) for a month, taking increasingly small doses—25mg, 20mg, 15mg, 10mg …

Here is the rest of the article.

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Adulting: Runner-up “International Word of the Year”

19 Jan
All the words from Flickr via Wylio

2013 Grahamm Campbell, Flickr| CC-BY-SA| via Wylio

Each year, the Oxford English Dictionary names an international word of the year.  This title is awarded based upon the word’s use during the past year, and how it reflects “the ethos, mood, or preoccupations of that particular year.”

This year’s title went to post-truth (read what this means).

One of the shortlisted words (considered, but not chosen) was…

adulting noun, informal

The practice of behaving in a way characteristic of a responsible adult, especially the accomplishment of mundane but necessary tasks.

The Urban dictionary defines it as the process of doing grown up things and hold responsibilities such as, a 9-5 job, a mortgage/rent, a car payment, or anything else that makes one think of grown ups. (Source)

Various hashtags on the subject are also used including:
#adulting #responsible #grown up

This word is often associated with the struggle of millennials to grow up.  Books and blogs have exploded on helping them overcome their apparent delayed development.  Here at More Than A Beard, we believe it is important for young adults to know that manhood goes beyond facial hair.

EA Resources teaches three developmental tasks which equip individuals to successfully transition to adulthood – which we call the E-VACuation Plan.

Here are three links that overview these three main developmental tasks.

David - Prof 2If I can help equip your parents and adolescents as children transition into adulthood, please contact me at gdavid@earesources.org.

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So this is my 40.

6 Dec

So this is my 40.

My reflection on turning 40, has come a little late.  Part of the delay is that I have had a few big issues to wrestle with in the last couple of years (including a career shift, an interstate move, a severely ill spouse, and a crisis of faith.  

Actually my reflection is really late as I am now 41.  I probably would have let it totally pass, but endless requests for letters for friends reaching this same milestone- have completely forced me to reflect on reaching the top of the hill, and I am apparently on my decent.  

So this is my 40.

I still remember the day that I knew I was old.  I was driving to work and was happily enjoying public radio.  As if this recognition wasn’t enough, a glance in the rear view mirror revealed to me that there were now specks of white growing from my chin.  

So this is my 40.

White specks and public radio.  

Oh there is a lot more to this phase of life.  There is my growing waistline, my entrenchment in older fashion (Who is glad that plaid is back?), my befuddlement regarding current fashion, and the failing of certain faculties including memory, hearing, and vision.  

So this is my 40.  

My body is not the only thing that has changed.  

Dreams.  Some dreams have been checked off – Others remain unfinished.  While I may have missed the boat for some ambitions, others I intentionally sunk.

Position.  While many have only seen and known me as a leader, I am not in a place of power.  I am not near people of power.  I actually tend to run from them especially if they tote religious authority.

Placement.  My road map has been frequently updated and my compass at times appears broken.  I never expected to obtain a doctorate that would remain dormant.  I never expected to start a new career in an entry level position at this phase of life.  

So this is my 40.

picture with boysFamily.  I have changed due to the arrival of one, then two, then a third  beautiful boy who resemble me in almost every possible way.  My years pass quicker now that I focus on the changes within them, and celebrating their development.

God has blessed me with a wife who has been faithful by my side  walking on mountain tops and in the valley.

So this is my 40.

Faith.  I was a pillar of spirituality for so many.  A servant of the church who would have done anything for his spiritual leaders.  Unfortunately, that misdirected devotion caused me to sacrifice the emotional and spiritual health of my family and my own soul for the sake of an institution.  

Spiritual abuse that forced me to change friends, locations, and careers.  As a young man, I had never experience pain.  Now, I daily wonder whether my dark night of the soul will end.  

So this is my 40.

Am I disillusioned?  Most certainly.  

Am I suffering a midlife crisis?  Possibly.  

This is my 40.  

I am not the same person. 

While growing up, I missed a fundamental point about adulthood.  

You continue to change.  

Adulthood is not a threshold you cross and enter fully completed.  It is not a plaque earned that gets posted on the wall.  It is not the final hoop that ends the race.  

I somehow missed the fact that adulthood is not the ending but  the beginning.  Adulthood is not the end of development, but simply leads to more change.  I felt adulthood would mean – No more changing.  No more reflecting.  No more wrestling- over who I am or what I want to be.  

But I am so different than I was at 20.  I am much different that who I was at 30.  I am beginning to see that I will not be the same person at 50. 

Life changes you.  

So this is my forty.  

My dear friends from the past, they do not know who I am today because I am different.   They are different too- this is probably why “friends are friends forever” may have rocked our graduation ceremonies in the 90’s, but these relationships failed to last even in a world filled with digital communication. 

So this is my 40.

I have changed, and you have changed.  The world around us has changed.  

So this is my 40. 

My life is strangely beautiful.  At times it is painfully peaceful.  It is better than I imagined and harder than I dreamed.  

But I am here, and I have discovered that I am not alone.  

God is here.  And those whom I love are near.  So whether the future brings me one day, one year, or 40 years, I am hopeful and expectant.

David - Prof 2Dr. G. David Boyd is the managing director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to equip parents and churches to engage emerging adults. He is also the founder of the EA Network, a community of people who serve and love emerging adults.

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Preaching to your adult child – Here is their perspective.

11 Oct
Image from page 336 of "The history of Methodism" (1902) from Flickr via Wylio

© 1902 Internet Archive Book Images, Flickr | PD | via Wylio

If you are a parent, then there are times when your child feels as if you are preaching at them.  If you don’t know your favorite topics, just ask them (if you are brave).

This article written by an emerging adult explains the thought process for your child as you discuss issues that you don’t agree upon – including faith.  While this article may not reflect the relationship between you and your child, there is much for parents to learn from this writer’s perspective.

Within five minutes of starting the hour-long car ride, she asked me if I wanted to explain my theological beliefs to her.

Awkward.

At this point, I had three options…

Read the entire article – HERE.

I wanted to summarize the points, but found too much that I wanted my readers to see and feel.  But I do want to highlight the author’s main conclusion:

I ask ‘when the preaching will end’ because with conservatives I consistently feel that I am being preached at by people who don’t care to understand me as a person, while with liberals I feel that I am becoming a part of a movement which is built on compassion and mutual understanding.

Within our homes, churches, and the public square – communication is key.  

Most Christians ignore the role of the Holy Spirit, and focus on conversion tactics when speaking with those outside the church – including their children.  Dialogue and diversity are welcome in today’s culture, but when someone in a conversation feels the need to be right – it will turn people from the beauty of the gospel.

This author is a follower of Jesus who was raised in an evangelical home.  Unfortunately, this emerging adult found the “extra baggage” of present-day Evangelical culture (which I use to refer to anything not required by the original tenants of the movement) to be completely overpowering to their spiritual journey.  I believe that some emerging adults find these beliefs so restrictive that they abandon the faith completely.

Related Links:

David - Prof 2Dr. G. David Boyd is the managing director of EA Resources – a non-profit designed to equip parents and churches to engage emerging adults.  He is also the founder of the EA Network – a community of people who serve and love emerging adults.

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The Golden Calf of Youth Sports

4 Oct

We usually go to church on Saturday evenings. This happens to coincide with my favorite sport to watch – college football. Often, my team would be playing right up until church starts. I leave the TV set, but keep wondering about the outcome, distracted through the entire church service. I’m not focused on the message or the worship.

andrew-soccerBut, I can focus plenty when I’m in game mode. I make sure the screen and volume are precise. Food is prepared, distractions are limited (kids, wife, phone calls…). I was telling my family, “Family, I’m going to be worshiping the next few hours during this football game – don’t interrupt!”

Over time, I heard God asking me some tough questions:

You can read the rest of the article here!

Chad FosterChad serves as the Middle School Assistant Principal at Christian Academy of Louisville. He is passionate about men leading their homes and our country. He is married to Hollie and is raising 3 children.

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New Song to Inspire Dads

18 Sep

As a man, if you need a little inspiration to live a life of faith – there is no greater motivation than the love we have for our children.

Here is a link to a great new song called “Be Like Me” by Finding Favour.

According to Wikipedia, Finding Favour is a contemporary Christian music band from Vidalia, Georgia. They are on the Gotee Records label, and released their first studio EP entitled Finding Favour EP on March 12, 2013. The EP has achieved positive critical reception.  

Image result for finding favour

Honestly, I found the video a cheesy, but the song is great.

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