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Radio Interview with Neil Stavem

8 Nov

I was recently interview by Neil Stavem on Faith Radio about emerging adulthood, and the delayed development of adolescents.  It was a great time of discussion, and I am thankful for the opportunity to work with their team.  Here is a write-up that they completed of my interview.

Or download the interview – Here.

Dr. G. David Boyd says that while God doesn’t provide a clear definition of adulthood, there is a big difference between what Scripture reveals to us and what our society teaches us on the subject of adulthood.

“For example, if you ask adolescents what it means to be an adult, some will answer that it is about being independent, both financially and emotionally, and of course moving away from their parents’ home.”

“However, God’s design for us as adults has never been independence, but interdependence.God has designed us a social being who should learn to rely on each other as we go through life’s journey.”

Dr. Boyd discovered that if we don’t have a proper understanding of what it means to be an adult, we won’t be able to teach our children what it means. As a result, he created an evacuation plan for parents and emerging adults to use during their transition into adulthood. He reviews the three main developmental tasks from the acronym VAC:

“Vocation: are they able to work in whatever God calls them to?”

“Autonomy: are they able to establish autonomy? The ability to make decisions and deal with consequences?”

“Community: can they develop community, the ability to develop and maintain interdependent healthy relationships?”

“If we teach our adolescents and emerging adults, and give them the ability to discover vocation, to establish their autonomy, and to develop community, then they will be a healthy functioning adult.”

Dr. Boyd points out that these developmental factors also resonate with the core of what it means to be human.

“Our basic needs of a human are to be useful, to be free and to be loved.”

He expands our human nature and the importance of having an eVAC plan in place for emerging adults.

“As we discover our vocation as a human it helps us feel useful, as we establish our autonomy to give the ability to be free, and as we develop a community around us to fulfil is our basic human need to be loved.”


David - Prof 2

Dr. G. David Boyd is the managing director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to equip parents and churches to engage emerging adults. He is also the founder of the EA Network, a community of people who serve and love emerging adults.

New Song to Inspire Dads

18 Sep

As a man, if you need a little inspiration to live a life of faith – there is no greater motivation than the love we have for our children.

Here is a link to a great new song called “Be Like Me” by Finding Favour.

According to Wikipedia, Finding Favour is a contemporary Christian music band from Vidalia, Georgia. They are on the Gotee Records label, and released their first studio EP entitled Finding Favour EP on March 12, 2013. The EP has achieved positive critical reception.  

Image result for finding favour

Honestly, I found the video a cheesy, but the song is great.

Coral Ridge Elders Knew of Tullian Tchividjian’s Affair With Married Woman

14 Sep
Tullian Tchividjian

Celebrity Pastor Photo: Tullian Tchividjian

I share articles dealing with the downfall of celebrity pastors because I have seen the power of the church destroy too many good people (PTCD).  The Evangelical celebrity pastor trend is destructive, and I hope that as men we can look beyond the lure of this movement.

At least two elders at Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church in Florida allegedly had knowledge that their former pastor, Tullian Tchividjian, grandson to evangelical icon Billy Graham, had engaged in an adulterous affair with a married member of his flock and advised him to keep it secret from his wife.

Reacting to a report in The Christian Post Thursday that Tchividjian was fired by Willow Creek Church in Winter Springs, Florida, after they were blindsided by his latest confession, a highly placed source informed CP Friday that the recent disclosure is really the result of a “systemic cover up” by church leaders that began two years ago.

Read the article – here!

This article reveals once again the power of these “Christian” celebrities, and how the resulting behavior is anything but Christian.

 

 

Why Traditional Manhood Is Killing Us – Article from The Huffington Post

21 Jul

by Mark Greene, blogger at The Good Men Project

2015-09-02-1441232571-6174157-why3

Enforcing traditional manhood as the only acceptable path for men is called living in the Man Box. Charlie Glickman does a great job of explaining the Man Box here.

The rules of the Man Box go something like this:

  1. Real men don’t show their emotions (anger, yes, but little else).
  2. Real men are always confident. They make all the decisions.
  3. Real men are providers not caregivers.
  4. Real men are heterosexual and sexually dominant.
  5. Real men continuously talk and play sports.
  6. Real men are never handicapped, disabled or unemployed.

And so on. Whatever else they are, “real men” never do anything that might appear as feminine. And that’s the biggest tragedy of all.

Click HERE to read full story via Huffington Post.

The Realities of Media Addiction – Article from The Washington Post

23 Jun

By Hayley Tsukayama, reporter at The Washington Post

It was group discussion time at reSTART, a woodsy rehabilitation center about 30 miles outside Seattle. Four residents sat around the living room and talked about their struggles with addiction, anxiously drumming their fingers on their legs and fidgeting with their shoelaces. One young man described dropping out of college to seek treatment for the crippling problem that brought them all here: compulsive Internet use.

Click HERE to read full story at The Washington Post.

A few of our observations from the article:

  • A recent study by Common Sense Media, a parent advocacy group, found that 59 percent of parents think their teens are addicted to mobile devices. Meanwhile, 50 percent of teenagers feel the same way. The study surveyed nearly 1,300 parents and children this year.
  • In the United States, there is no definition of Internet addiction. It is not recognized in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), which sets the official standards for disorders in the United States. A draft definition covering video-game addiction is included in an appendix for further research review, but there is no entry for general tech use.
  • Other countries, however, do officially recognize some forms of Internet addiction as serious conditions. In South Korea, Internet addiction has a formal definition; there, students are diagnosed and sent to government treatment centers.

See for yourself and let us know what you think! How does Internet use (or perhaps over-use) affect you and your family? Should technology use be treated as other addictions?

EA Resources is Expanding! Introducing a New Staff Member

13 Jun

God has greatly blessed our work in the past year.  Through the generosity of God’s people, I am excited to announce that EA Resources has hired someone to join the team.  (You can join our Financial Partners – Here!)

Julia Powers and I connected through a blog post that got my attention – (You can read that post here.)  She will be joining our team to help manage the multiple blogs.

Julia Powers is a writer and aspiring minister currently based in Dallas, Texas. She received a B.A. in English from The College of William & Mary in 2013 and is set to begin an M.Div at Duke Divinity School in 2016. In recent years, Julia has spent time working in nonprofit communications, interning at her local church, and living in intentional Christian community with other emerging adults. Julia writes regularly on her own blog and has contributed posts to numerous other sites, most frequently the blog of InterVarsity Christian Fellowship USA. You can connect with her online on FacebookTwitter, Instagram, or LinkedIn.

Julia will be responsible for the content and oversight of our websites.

EA Resources oversees the production of three sites:

  • EA Resources – a website designed to provide resources to parents and churches who wish to understand and minister to emerging adults.
  • More Than A Beard – a multigenerational website that seeks to explore various aspects of being a man who follows Jesus Christ.
  • More Than A Mirror – a multigenerational website that seeks to explore various aspects of being a woman who follows Jesus Christ.

I am so excited about Julia joining me in the work that God has called me to do.  I know that you will be blessed and encouraged by her work.

David - Prof 2Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources.  He is also the Founder of the EA Network which seeks to connect people who desire to minister to the needs of emerging adults.  If you would like to contact David, you can e-mail him at gdavid@earesources.org.

Church Refugees – by Packard, Josh and Ashleigh Hope

19 May

Emerging Adults are not the only ones who are leaving the church.  According to the authors of Church Refugees, “The phenomenon of people walking away from congregation-based church has much more to do with how our culture has evolved over the years for everyone, not simply for emerging adults.” (76) While the decline in church participation is greatest among Millennials, churches are seeing decline in every generation.

While I do not hold a negative attitude toward the Millennial Exodus, those who love the church should examine cultural trends, and how God is calling us into a new season of ministry in a rapidly changing world.  Unfortunately, the authors’ research was not based upon a broad or diverse sample.  The researchers state that the sample was diverse geographically, socioeconomically, generationally, and gender; however, the responders were 92% white.  (10)

During their research, the authors coined the expression, “the Dones” to represent the individuals who were once active in church participation, but no longer attend.  Some of these individuals may also be classified as a None (who declare no religious faith) while others still hold tightly to faith (and yet are “Done” with the organized church).  The dechurched, as they sometimes are referred to are “disproportionately people who were heavily involved in their churches.” (50)

old churchThe book offers solutions about how to begin bringing these church refugees back into churches.  The authors share how, “In order to reengage the dechurched, then, our respondents are clear that the church needs to adopt policies and practices that disseminate power, reduce the role of the pastor as the holder and conveyor of all knowledge, and utilize organizational resources to empower people rather than to control them.” (94)  These are important topics that need to be discussed within our churches.

This book contains the “story of what happens when an organization invests in training and discipling scores of people, and yet does very little to retain them or reengage them when they leave.”  (11)  I discovered within this book a call to action.

The Nones won’t go to church, and they are afraid of church leadership. The church needs to provide healing and help for those who have left wounded (those suffering from PTCD – Post-Traumatic Church Disorder).

A rehabilitation process and program is needed for Christians wounded led by Jesus’ followers who can work outside the organized church and possess gifts of mercy and compassion.  If we fail to meet this call, “the church continues to run off faithful followers who are, by their nature or religious conviction, conciliatory, compromising, and nonjudgmental, then we will continue to see a church that’s increasingly insular, alienating, and irrelevant.”  (19)

David - Prof 2As the church, we should be passionate about reaching the Nones.  Instead of cycling through decades of “evangelism tactics” like concerts, outreach events, seeker-sensitive bible studies, or tracts, maybe it is time to look around us and backward in time towards those we have hurt and have left behind.  I completely agree with their statement that “the Dones and the almost Dones are the strongest bridge to the Nones.”  (137)

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to help parents and parents understand emerging adulthood.

 

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