Tag Archives: Marriage

10 Ways a Man Makes His Wife Feel Ugly without Saying a Thing

11 Aug

This list is long, and impossible to keep to perfection.  However, this article is a powerful reminder to how our actions and words affect those whom we love.  I pray that one or more of these will be used by the Spirit in your life to build or rebuild your marriage.

Days before I got married, my pastor’s wife told me, “Your husband will never intentionally hurt you.” Twenty-two years later, I believe she was right—for the most part. Yet the key word is “intentionally”. Even though the average guy isn’t making it his mission to hurt his wife, he can unintentionally leave her feeling rejected, unseen, devalued—and ugly—without ever saying a thing.

Here is the full article.

 

Will Marriage become Extinct?

31 Jan

Marriage between man and woman today “is becoming extinct.”

Image may contain: 2 people, wedding and outdoor

Copyright 2016 Photo Courtesy of Aaron Robert Photography LLC

That was the view shared by Jennifer Murff of Millennials for Marriage at a recent speech to an audience of young people from various countries who attended a conference promoting marriage and families in Beverly, Massachusetts, CBN News reported.

Here is the rest of the article from Christianity Today.

My Favorite Line –

The problem is that instead of trying to reach a compromise with the young people, the older generations tend to shun them, especially since these millennials are now more often accepting of gay marriage, premarital sex and even abortion—things that are non-negotiable for many adult churchgoers.When reading statements like this, it reminds us that today’s church is desperately in need of Generational Mediators.

Marriage statistics are clearly changing – due to various reasons including:  the availability of birth control, rise of cohabitation, and the lessening of sexual taboos.  Regardless of what you believe on these issues, this trend should affect our churches and how we approach, evangelize, and disciple the next generation.

While I don’t believe that marriage will become extinct, the question among Millennials is no longer, “When do we get married?”, but “Why get married at all?”

After a little searching, I did find an interesting read on this topic.

Rejecting Ashley Madison

10 Sep

Ashley Madison is  a Canada-based online dating service and social networking service marketed to people who are married or in a committed relationship. Its slogan is “Life is short. Have an affair.” The website was launched in 2001. The name of the site was created from two popular female names, “Ashley” and “Madison”. (Source)

 

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Fight Naked! 3 Types of Marital Fights and How to Seek Reconciliation

11 Aug

Fight Naked! 3 Types of Marital Fights and How to Seek Reconciliation

Within seconds of reading this post, I was literally laughing out loud.

You will too!

So please click here, and check out this post that talks about conflict within marriage, and how to work towards reconciliation.

Here is the summary that they provided:

  1. Fight naked: literally and figuratively. Keep it light whenever possible and be transparent always.
  2. Fight with love as your backdrop. If you stray from this, you’re wrong. Love must motivate you to seek reconciliation, otherwise you’re just being selfish.
  3. Don’t sweat the small stuff. If you can, get over it. Have thick skin. Let some things go, and seek to understand before you seek to be understood.
  4. If all seems lost: pray hard and trust God.

The blog is written by Ryan and Selena Frederick, and contains tons of articles and resources to encourage and strengthen your marriage.  Be sure to check out their shareable content where they provide artwork to send a free message to someone special in your life.

To Make this House Our Home

16 Apr

© 2006 James Thompson, Flickr | CC-BY | via Wylio

To make this house our home, we must acknowledge the Owner.  Not the bank, but the Owner of all.  He is the one who has brought us together.

To make this house our home, there must be food.  Food is what nourishes our bodies and souls.  It will give us strength and energy to face what lies ahead.

To make this house our home, it will need plenty of windows which will allow the light to shine in our darkness and guide our footsteps.

To make this house our home, it will need to be a little messy.  A place of activity, a place of fellowship whose hallways resound with laughter.

To make this house our home, the door must always be open.  Open to those lacking love, to those who lacking safety, to those lacking a family.

To make this house our home, we must make it a priority to be present.  Together during times of play, times of prayer, and times of work.  We cannot be absent in either body or mind.

To make this house our home, the rooms must be filled with grace.  Grace that is freely given.  Grace that is humbly received.  For each member is not perfect and each will have times when they are in need of grace.

Through wisdom is a house built; and by understanding it is established; And by knowledge are the chambers filled With all precious and pleasant riches. (Proverbs 24:3-4 ASV)

 

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources.  When not writing, he works alongside of his beautiful bride Rachel seeking to make their house –  a home.

In Pursuit of the Perfect Marriage

14 Apr

The dreams of a perfect marriage, and a fairy-tale life have often left me chasing worthless pursuits, and living in discontent.  Even after fifteen great years of marriage, I often hid my weaknesses from Rachel in order to be seen as  a shining knight in gleaming armor. Continue reading

How Long should an Engagement be?

2 Apr

Photo Courtesy of Aaron Robert Photography. Copyright 2013. http://www.aaronrobertphotography.com

Can an engagement be too short?

Absolutely. 

Can an engagement be too long?

Absolutely. 

Unfortunately for my wife, I didn’t really put too much thought into the length of our engagement.  We had discussed marriage, and although a winter wedding seemed practical to me, Rachel had other plans.  After a time of reflection (or let’s call it – enlightenment), I realized that in order to have Rachel’s fall wedding, I had to immediately propose.  Luckily, I already had purchased a ring and asked for her parent’s approval.

While an engagement can be too short (or too long), the length is not as important as what you do during that time.  As a couple, you must discuss what is right for you.  So if you are planning an engagement period, here are some positives and negatives for either a long or short engagement period.

Thoughts Concerning a Short Engagements 

Photo Courtesy of Aaron Robert Photography. Copyright 2013. http://www.aaronrobertphotography.com

Limited Time to Process – Marriage introduces a ton of change into the lives of the couple, and these changes take time to process.  While less time might be a blessing for doubters or those who struggle with anxiety, a short engagement can cause others to neglect thinking through the commitment that they are making.  (Read more on the Purpose of Engagement)

Limited Time to Plan – Becoming one requires a lot of work by the bride and the groom.  If both partners are working full-time, the extra workload of fulfilling the extra responsibilities during engagement will be extremely stressful.  Even the simplest of weddings requires many hours of preparation.

Limited Period of Sexual Tension – While I believe it is best for a couple to remain abstinent before the wedding, the engagement period is a time when emotional, spiritual, and sexual boundaries in the relationship need to change.  As a couple become more physically involved, their bodies will naturally lead them towards sexual fulfillment.  A short engagement helps the couple maintain their boundaries.   (Read more about the relational changes during engagement, Engagement is Awkward.)

While there is a lot of work to accomplish during this period, one emerging adult said, “If you keep a short engagement Christ-centered and smart, it can be wonderful.”

Thoughts Concerning a Long Engagement 

Time to Process and Plan – A long engagement allows the couple to fully explore their relationship and the commitment they are making.  The couple is not focused entirely on the day-to-day or the looming ceremony, but they are also able to think through their decisions and discuss the changes they are experiencing.

Photo Courtesy of Aaron Robert Photography. Copyright 2013. http://www.aaronrobertphotography.com

Time to discuss tough issues – Engagement periods can be a time when the couple is faced for the first time with conflict when their values clash as they are forced to make decisions together.  Sometimes couple who rush through their engagement will bury problems until later because they know there is not time to fix the problem.

More Living Expenses – Unless one or both of the couple are living at home, living separately can often be a financial burden to the couple.  Emerging adulthood can be an expensive phase of life with little income, and so it is wise to save whenever possible.  I wouldn’t necessarily move up your wedding, but you might want to live with family or friends until the big day comes rather than pay rent at two places.

Difficult to maintain physical boundaries – One EA states, “Some of the long engagements I have seen have been so hard on the couple – specifically the struggle with sexual sin as the months pass.”  Even for couples who maintained clear boundaries while dating find it difficult to remain sexually pure once a promise is made.  A long engagement will require them to regularly discuss their physical boundaries, and the sexual tension between them.

There is no right or wrong answers, but each couple must decide based upon:

  1. How long have you known each other?
  2. In what capacities have you known each other? (Are you together regularly, or are you long-distance relationship?)
  3. What do your friends and mentors believe about your decisions?
  4. How well do you as a couple deal with stress and waiting?
  5. What do you sense God is leading you to do as you pray?

Whether long or short, your engagement can be all that you dreamed as you both seek God and follow His leading.

 david in hat - blackDr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to provide resources to Emerging Adults, and those who love them.

 

 

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