Tag Archives: Sex

Will Marriage become Extinct?

31 Jan

Marriage between man and woman today “is becoming extinct.”

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Copyright 2016 Photo Courtesy of Aaron Robert Photography LLC

That was the view shared by Jennifer Murff of Millennials for Marriage at a recent speech to an audience of young people from various countries who attended a conference promoting marriage and families in Beverly, Massachusetts, CBN News reported.

Here is the rest of the article from Christianity Today.

My Favorite Line –

The problem is that instead of trying to reach a compromise with the young people, the older generations tend to shun them, especially since these millennials are now more often accepting of gay marriage, premarital sex and even abortion—things that are non-negotiable for many adult churchgoers.When reading statements like this, it reminds us that today’s church is desperately in need of Generational Mediators.

Marriage statistics are clearly changing – due to various reasons including:  the availability of birth control, rise of cohabitation, and the lessening of sexual taboos.  Regardless of what you believe on these issues, this trend should affect our churches and how we approach, evangelize, and disciple the next generation.

While I don’t believe that marriage will become extinct, the question among Millennials is no longer, “When do we get married?”, but “Why get married at all?”

After a little searching, I did find an interesting read on this topic.

Do we still believe in rape?

6 Sep

This news story has made me ask the question, “Do we still believe in rape?”

An 18-year-old accused of sexually assaulting two high school classmates is facing two years of probation despite the district attorney’s office’s recommendation of two years in prison.

PHOTO: Pictured is David Becker, 18, of East Longmeadow, Massachusetts.David Becker, of East Longmeadow, Massachusetts, was charged with two counts of rape and one count of indecent assault and battery, according to court documents, after an April 2 incident in which he was accused of digitally penetrating two girls who were sleeping in a bed after a house party. Becker and the alleged victims, who are not being identified, were all seniors.

You can read the rest of the article here!

Image result for brock turnerI hope that our nation still believes in rape.  Several high profile rape cases among young adults have received alarmingly light sentences.  A Stanford University student named Brock Turner received a six month sentence for what his father described as “twenty minutes of action” when he rapped an unconscious woman.

In David Becker’s case, the judge stated that “The goal of this sentence was not to impede this individual from graduating high school and to go onto the next step of his life, which is a college experience.”  The judge’s statement makes the assumption that all emerging adults go to college, and that college is an inherent right to young adults.

But the judge also believes that this sex offender has the right to a “normal” life.

I do believe in forgiveness and restoration.  However, I also believe in the importance of personal autonomy – which is the ability to make decisions and deal with the consequences.

Whatever lies ahead in this young man’s future (and I do hope it includes forgiveness and restoration), I do not imagine that this young man’s future will remain unaffected by his crime.  In spite of his light sentence, the social and psychological affects to his crimes will follow him for many years.

As I reflect on the judge’s assumptions and perspective, I see another viewpoint.

I am wondering about the victims.  Do his victims have the right to a “normal” life?  How will these events affect their college experience?

I am wondering about the growing number of victims from sexual crimes that fill our schools, homes, and churches.  I wonder if their stories are slowly being altered.  I wonder if their cries are being muffled.  I wonder if their wounds are bleeding anew.

I hope that our society can still see the benefit of morality.  In a world where sexual bondage is presented as appropriate (50 Shades of Gray) and where we promote and glorify the connection between sex and power, I hope we can find the God-ordained purpose of sex.

I hope that in this darkness, we can remove sex from the obsession it has become in our society and realize that sex will never fulfill us.

I hope that we still believe in rape.


David - Prof 2Dr. G. David Boyd is the manager of EA Resources, and the Founder of the EA Network, a network for those who minister to emerging adults.




3 Ways To Avoid Talking About Sex – Guest Post by Adam Mearse

20 Oct

Messages about sex fill our society, and many of the messages are not healthy.  In our sex-saturated society it is crucial that we speak to our children about their sexuality.

As fathers, it can be intimidating, but don’t worry…

  •   you don’t have to cover it all at once (but it should be the first of many conversations).
  •   you don’t have to know everything about it.
  •   you don’t have to be smooth and polished.

However, don’t wait until you feel ready or you may never do it.  Here is an article that I recently found that provides parents some pointers when talking to your children about sex.

In my conversations with emerging adults and teens around the country, one theme continually roars up to the surface…no one is talking with Christians about sexuality. I know that kind of statement colors way too many people with the same drab crayon, but my own research, and that of a lot of other good people studying the sexuality among Christian folks, makes it pretty clear that the exceptions are few – especially in the mainstream evangelical world.

Read the remainder of the article HERE!


Picture Source: http://adammearse.com

Adam Mearse is a pastor and researcher and blogger at www.AdamMearse.com.

NFL QB – Russell Wilson talks about Abstinence

9 Jul

Russell Wilson, quarterback for the Seattle Seahawks recently made news when he shared how he was not having sex with his girlfriend Ciara, but they were trying to maintain abstinence.  They would be attempting to “do-it-the-jesus-way.”  Ciara is an famous singer, song-writer, and fashion model.

Wilson was frank, and admitted that he would need prayer in order to uphold this commitment in a San Diego Church.

Here is the complete story on Inside Edition.

As a father of three boys, I am regularly looking for men that my sons can emulate.  (Are Athletes good role-models?)

Say a prayer that Russell will walk faithfully as a follower of Jesus.




35 Things We’d Better Tell Our Sons About Harassment, Assault & “Boys will be Boys”

18 Dec

Just read a powerful article by Ann Voskamp, a NY Time best-selling author of A Thousand Gifts.  This article is important because it discusses what to teach our adolescents and emerging adults about sexual abuse and violence.

boyswillbeboysHere is the Article!

It is longer than many articles, so make sure that you have the time to read and digest it.  Each time that I have read it, I finished inspired and encouraged in my role as a man and father of three sons.

Wow, here are a few of my favorite quotes.

1.  And better stories begin around our dinner tables and our kitchen sinks.

Stories around our dinner tables and kitchen requires spending time together as a family.  This requires saying no to the endless activities of our world, and saying yes to better things.

2.  It is the scarred ones who make the Body of Christ sensitive.  

I know because I am a scarred one.  I was actually scarred by  the church (and I am not alone).  I am not thankful to those who gave them to me, but I am grateful to the God who sustains me daily.  These scars don’t define me, but they have shaped me in ways I once never imagine.

2014-09-28 13.35.063.  You don’t value a woman by telling yourself that she’s some man’s sister, or daughter, or mother. A woman doesn’t derive value from having men in her life that value and like her. A woman has value because she is made in the image and likeness of God. Period.

I have heard this false argument so many times.  Women do not receive their value due to their relationships with men.  They have value because of their relationship to God as Creator.  I don’t want my sons to treat women respectfully because they fear a dad sitting in the living room cleaning a gun.  I want my sons to fear God to whom they will give an account one day.

4.  That’s what you have to get, Sons — Real Manhood knows the heart of God for the daughters of His heart.

I want my sons to know that Real Manhood understands God’s love for men and women.

5.  Son, let everything you read of women be shaped by how Jesus sealed His view and value of women.

There is a beautiful piece of poetry in the center about Jesus’ view of women.  It is amazing.

May God make me a real man who will stand up for the value of women in the church.

May God make me a real father who will teach my sons to value women.

May God do the same to you.


david in hat - blackDr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources, a non-profit designed to minister to the needs of Emerging Adults and their parents.



Book Review: “Clean”

29 Jul


“Every Christian man is born into a sexual war. The enemy attacks the young, hoping to scar them permanently and leave them ruined. But your past is not enough to keep you from the enduringly clean life you want and deserve. Clean is a priceless, no-nonsense resource for every husband, father, brother, son, friend, pastor, and Christian leader on the front lines of this war. It is a soldier’s handbook for those ready to reclaim their homes, churches, and nations for the God who has built them to succeed.”

Dr. Douglass Weiss is the author of more than 20 books, executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center in Colorado Springs, president of the American Association for Sex Addiction Therapy (AASAT), and has been “clean” for more than 25 years… in other words, he knows more than the average guy about the dangers of pornography, masturbation, lust, and adultery!

The essential premise of Dr. Weiss’s Clean is that whether or not we would like to admit it, the church is in the middle of a war for purity and at present we are losing. Continue reading

Pornography And Proverbs 5

7 Jun


In the previous post of this series, fighting porn addiction, we mentioned starving yourself of all sexual content. Basically, it is making the decision to cut away anything that might start to get your sexual juices flowing. This is a conscious decision and takes immense discipline. However, I wanted to make sure we understand a truth here:

Wisdom leads you away from personal pitfalls.

If you were an alcoholic, you have no business attempting to drink casually.

If you were a chronic over-eater, you have no business eating at the all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet.

If you were a frequent pornography consumer, you have no business browsing the Victoria Secret catalog. You don’t need to find something for your wife. She will be much happier receiving true love from you. She wants this rather than your affections being split between her and images of other women. Continue reading

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