Tag Archives: young adults

As more people claim to be “spiritual” more than religious, what exactly does that mean?

28 Mar

While in Johnson City, Tennessee, I began a conversation with a shuttle driver named Jeff.  He asked me why I was in town.  I explained I was speaking at a church, and said that he “hoped it was full of the Spirit.” 

I began asking him about his studies.  Jeff shared about his major, and what he wanted to do when he was done with college.  He was more than eager to talk about his life experiences, and how they had shaped him.  He was extremely articulate, and well-read in various philosophies. 

Here is the rest of the article, and what I learned that day.

Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources.

Premature Intimacy

9 Feb

 

wedding-1

Copyright by Aaron Roberts Photography 2016

 

I believe in purity. I believe in purity rings. I believe in setting physical boundaries in relationships in order to keep from hurting ourselves and others. This is something that is often taught, lectured, and discussed in Christian circles. However, I think we are missing something. Something BIG.

Physical intimacy is something to be shared only within the boundaries of marriage. God created a special connection called marriage for a man and a woman to enjoy sex and physical intimacy.

However, after years of working with students, I have discovered that there are many students who while keeping their bodies pure, have crossed over boundaries in other areas that I believe should be reserved for God’s design of marriage.

Is physical intimacy the only intimacy a man and woman can experience? As humans, we know that there are several types of intimacy that two humans can enjoy including emotional, spiritual, and physical. I believe that God desires to keep us pure until marriage in every aspect of our lives. I believe that intimacy in all areas should be reserved for marriage.

(While I am not usually into dissecting human relationships into different aspects, please be patient as you will quickly see my point without a drawn-out explanation of each area, or a need for distinct lines. I usually run from books that dissect relationships into a new way just to sell books. However, because of the Purity Movement, and its focus on the physical intimacy of teens, I felt this needed to be written.)

There should be boundaries in various areas of our lives that keep Christians from becoming intimate too quickly. Christians should be careful so that they do not cross the line of “two becoming one” before they enter into marriage.

For example, many young adults are surprised to hear that I do not encourage them to share their devotional lives. I do believe that guys and girls can and should pray together, but regular times of deep prayer/ bible study as a couple can cause premature spiritual intimacy. Your spiritual health becomes dependent on the other person, and so when the relationship is broken, you are left to pick up the pieces of your walk with Christ. Students should regularly talk about their spiritual lives, but boundaries should exist.

This is also true when it comes to emotional intimacy. Both guys and girls bear their entire hearts in a relationship, and then feel emotionally vulnerable after the relationship is over. No wonder they feel uncomfortable after the break-up and can no longer be friends. A boundary has been crossed.

I have worked with too many guys and girls who have not kept boundaries in their lives, and so with each broken relationship they wound their heart. These wounds turn into scars, and scars lead to calluses. A calloused heart can hurt a marriage even before it begins, so let’s guard ourselves from premature intimacy.

I am not saying that dating or relationships are evil. I simply want students to retain intimacy for the day that they walk down the aisle.

What are your thoughts and experiences? What do you think are some good boundaries to put up in a dating relationship?

Other Posts on Love and Dating:

David - Prof 2Dr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources.

 

 

10 Things We Need To Hear From Young Church Leaders

5 Feb

10-Things-We-Need-to-Hear-from-Young-Church-Leaders

This week, I am focusing on the concept that the church needs to empower young leadership.  I came across this article that I wanted to share with my readers.  I love the positive expression with which the author speaks about those younger than himself.

Many churches believe that younger leadership refers to anyone who isn’t quite a Baby boomer.  However, we need to reach deeper and call upon leadership from all generations.  Are you calling upon young men to lead within your men’s ministry?  Are you making room on your church board for younger voices?  The Body of Christ is incomplete without a complete mix of God’s people.

By sharing it, I hope that…

1.  Younger Leaders will be challenged to speak out within their communities for change.

2.  Older Leaders will seek out  younger leaders from whom to listen and learn.

3.  Inter-generational bonds will be built for the strength of the Advancing Kingdom of God.

Here is the article – Enjoy!

Five “Disastrous” Results of Inviting Emerging Adults into Leadership.

3 Feb

Although some people believe that mixing generations in leadership can cause the same results as mixing Mentos and carbonated drinks, I believe in young leadership.  I actually believe that the church needs Millennials in order to be healthy.  That doesn’t mean change will be easy.  Here are some results to expect as you invite emerging adults into leadership.

1.  Questions will be asked.

tommy_portrait_blackwhite_690882_h[1]As you invite emerging adults into leadership, be ready to answer questions.  Asking questions is key to a healthy community, while authority that stifles questions and criticism is quickly headed towards disaster.  God-ordained leadership can face questions without feeling threatened.  Hierarchy is so often ingrained into our communities, that we learn to not question authority or the systems that elected them.  As we invite emerging adults to speak, they will need to ask questions to provide understanding, and at other times to evaluate decisions.

2.  Elephants will be acknowledged.

Elephant's tea party, Robur Tea Room, 24 March 1939, by Sam Hood from Flickr via Wylio

© 1939 State Library of New South Wales, Flickr | PD | via Wylio

Many organizations have an elephant (or two) in the room that no one is willing to talk about.  Young leadership will gladly point them out – either because they don’t understand them, or because they can see how unhealthy these huge burdens have become for the group.  Unfortunately, most of these elephants have protectors in the room.  When established leadership chooses to ignore problems within our communities (because they are too painful), emerging adults will want to revisit them.

3.  Reality Checks will be given.

We all need a dose of reality from time to time.  Emerging adults are often idealistic, and do not realize how difficult it can be to bring change to individuals and an organization.  In spite of their idealism, other generations can learn from those who understand how our world is changing, and how the church sits on the precipice of irrelevancy.  A healthy spoonful of reality is needed by both sides.  Inter-generational leadership is a medicine that will grow and strengthen the church.

4.  Assumptions will be challenged.

Whether due to being raised in a postmodern society, a digital world, or because they want to see change, EA’s will challenge assumptions –  no matter how old.  A community’s leadership is often blinded to their own assumptions.  A new leader will see what is being assumed by the leadership structure, and how these old assumptions are obstacles to growth and healthy change.

5.  Growth we result.

As you place emerging adults on your team, their leadership skills will improve.  However, growth should not be associated simply with youth.  Diversity creates a dynamic working environment that will cause everyone involved to grow.  This growth process is characterized by moments of pain and pleasure.

Inviting younger leadership to the table would require something from everyone. 

It is risky. 

It requires humility. 

It requires work. 

It requires courage. 

Maybe these are the reasons why Emerging Adults get shut out.

In the end, we will discover that the results of working with emerging adults are not disastrous at all.  Rather, we will discover that they are exactly what the Church needs.

david in hat - blackDr. G. David Boyd is the Founder and Managing Director of EA Resources.  If he can help your church create avenues to minister to emerging adults, you can contact him at gdavid@earesources.org.

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